The Dignity of Middle-Aged Adults

 

As people enter middle age, their dignity becomes more pronounced, earning them respect. People admire middle-aged individuals who possess refined joy, a calm and stable disposition, and an unwavering character that doesn't lose its composure. Middle-aged people who maintain a composed yet gentle attitude stand out.

 

There are four types of middle-aged individuals who are respected. First, they don't boast or exaggerate to make themselves appear better. They don't talk as if everything they own is grand and magnificent. 

 

Presenting a story engagingly and tastefully differs from bragging and stretching the truth. People who try to make themselves look better by criticizing others come across as ridiculous and petty. If you listen to them, you might feel like a fool, too.

 

It's common for boastful middle-aged individuals to exaggerate the size of their business or the amount of money they deal with. They usually exaggerated their past achievements and connections beyond belief. They claim they can handle any problem if you ask for their help.

 

 

As you listen to the stories of boastful middle-aged individuals, you begin to wonder. Why haven't they achieved anything significant with their impressive careers, abilities, wealth, and innovative ideas yet? 

 

You might humor their boasting stories for a while, but soon enough, you'll turn your head away. Their boasting is a facade to compensate for their lack of substance.

 

Boastful middle-aged people tend to be self-absorbed. They constantly brag about their spouse, children, in-laws, and daughters-in-law. It's questionable whether they're genuinely doing as well as they claim. 

 

They have nothing to say about their lives but eagerly boost their family's achievements. Their desire to bask in the success of others, as if they were riding on the coattails of successful people, is evident.

 

Second, middle-aged individuals who do not judge the world with prejudice and preconceptions are respected. Discrimination is a subjective value judgment without experience or knowledge about a specific subject. 

 

They do not pre-judge or form opinions about people or events without firsthand experience or knowledge of the truth. Prejudice becomes entrenched as it is rationalized and solidified.

 

Prejudice is an attitude where one holds unsuitable opinions or views about a subject or phenomenon. Most of our prejudices result from subjective preconceptions. People with solid prejudices and preconceptions are not logical. They are emotional, negative, and strongly opinionated.

 

People who look at the world comprehensively, rather than through a narrow perspective, consider cause, effect, and circumstances when understanding various phenomena, social issues, individual values, and lifestyles. 

 

They do not complain or carry a sense of resentment as if the world is entirely displeasing and full of negativity. One of the advantages of middle age is having experienced various things, allowing them to have an open mind regarding others' values.

 

Mature individuals do not view the world through only one window. They look at various aspects of the world through others' perspectives. They do not categorize people as "us" or "them" and do not divide people with dualistic thinking. Such individuals can get along with people who have different political views.

 

Third, they do not belittle others or elevate themselves. People who criticize others usually have low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem tend to approach everything with hostility, negatively affecting those around them. Low self-esteem stems from feelings of inferiority.

 

People plagued by feelings of inferiority often engage in harsh actions to make others appear inferior. Psychologists call it the "tall poppy syndrome," where someone tries to dominate those they perceive as weaker, establishing their superiority.

 

The appeal of mature middle-aged individuals is not dependent on social status, wealth, or material possessions. They elevate others and humble themselves. They consider others' strengths and positive qualities. 

 

Occasionally, they might feel the urge to belittle others in conversations with friends but refrain from spreading negative gossip. They hesitate to speak ill of others.

 

Fourth, they do not put on air or exhibit arrogant attitudes. They control their desire to seek attention and recognition. They patiently give their best in their endeavors, waiting for the right moment. People who constantly put on air or exhibit arrogance come off as insufferable. 

 

Even those around them who struggle to endure their self-absorption cannot escape their bragging. Excessive self-praise often signifies personality disorders, which are challenging to treat even with psychiatric help. 

 

 

The type of person who receives the least respect in interpersonal relationships is someone who constantly brags. An empty cart makes the most noise. If people start distancing themselves, they become social outcasts.

 

Professor Doug Choi, Ph.D., President of Peniel Theological Seminary, Busan, Korea